The line of mango tarts snapped to attention, orange arms at their side, crusts newly minted from the oven, boots sticky with mango sheen.
“Listen up!” shouted the sergeant, as he marched down the line of tartlets, poking his troops in the chest and engaging in one last visual inspection. “Last year was the last time, the last time I tell you, that those lime tart buggers beat us in the annual tart-off!” He stomped on the ground. “The last time we have a poor showing–” another stomp “–The last time those lazy limers get away with their cream-slinging antics. You hear me?”
“WE HEAR YOU SIR!” shouted back the line of tarts.
“Marshall!” shouted the sergeant. The tartlet at the front of the line stepped forward. “Marshall, it is your duty to ensure that these tossers toe the line today. You got that?”
“Sir yes sir!” shouted Marshall the mango tart, hopping backwards back into formation.
The sergeant continued to glower, as he marched up and down the loading tray. “We all remember how it turned out last year. There’s a bias, in these things! The judges come from the land of Citrus! We all know that! There’s always at least two judges from Citrusland, and only one from Tropicandia! The system is rigged!”
The troops grumbled amongst themselves. One turned to his neighbor and muttered, “A crying shame, those judges.”
“Quiet, you buggers!” shouted the sergeant. “So the judges are against us? SO WHAT?! Are we going to let a little bump in the road like that stop us?”
“NO!” shouted the tartlets.
“That’s right! We shall overcome, by the depth of our flavor and the creaminess of our filling, and…by the tangy sweet goodness that is mango! MANGO SHALL PREVAIL!!!”
The tartlets burst into cheers. Waving their hats around, they threw their cream canteens into the air and screamed in jubilation. The sergeant held up his hands for quiet.
“It’s time,” he announced. He blew a whistle, and the lines of tartlets snapped to attention.
Marshall raised his arm and began to shout: “Left…right…left, right, left!” The line of tarts moved out, and began their march towards the bakeoff fields.
Meanwhile, in a kingdom not far away, a line of key lime tarts was readying themselves for battle….
[TO BE CONTINUED. STAY TUNED FOR PART II IN THE MANGO vs. LIME TARTLET SAGA]
- AIP Crust
- 1 c water chestnut flour or cassava flour
- ½ cup tapioca flour or arrowroot starch
- 6 tb coconut oil
- ¼ tsp sea salt
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- 3 tb honey or maple syrup
- 3-5 tb water as needed
- 1 cup mango
- ¼ c coconut cream
- ¼ c hot water
- ¼ c cold water
- 1 tb grassfed gelatin (sub agar-agar for vegan)
- ½ tsp sea salt
- juice of 1 lime
- 1 tsp vanilla
- pinch cinnamon
- Crust: Mix ingredients together until crumbly texture achieved, add water as needed to make mixture adhere. Spoon and press into silicone molds in a muffin tin. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 20 mins or until slightly browned.
- Custard: Bloom gelatin in cold water, then add hot water to dissolve. Blend rest of the ingredients together and add to gelatin mixture. Mix thoroughly, then pour into molds over set crusts.
- Place in refrigerator for a couple hours until hardened.
- Garnish with whipped coconut cream and begin the bakeoff judging!