It was evenfall when Frodo awoke after his tumultuous adventure with all the horses and the magical river and the almost dying and all that, and he was, unsurprisingly, once again, feeling rather peckish. But as they hadn’t yet reached the part of the story where Sam supplies Frodo with alternative lembas bread, Frodo was forced to go out and scavenge on his own.
In the course of so doing, he happened upon what appeared to be a Council of his hosts, the Gummy Bears, who had called their brethren far and wide to discuss the matter of the one Ring.
Gummies had arrived from all parts of Middle Kitchen: the Cat Gummies, slinking their way west from their cave lairs and raising their noses at the Fox Gummies, who had come from the north and reeked of pungent forest odors, as well as the always fractious Bunny Gummies, who tended to dominate both conversations and birthday parties with their chattering.
All these gummies had gathered around Bear-ond’s table, where Frodo’s ring lay, innocent and shiny in its goldness, content to contain its evilness within.
“Who shall take the Ring to Mordor?” Bear-ond was asking.
“Ooh, I will, I will!” shouted the head rabbit. “I love rings. So shiny.”
The Cat Bear wrinkled its nose. “Bunny Gummy, you’re an idiot. Bear-ond, you can’t be serious. Bunny Gummies shouldn’t be trusted with anything besides remembering their own names. Probably not even that.”
As the bunny gummies hopped up and down in energetic protest, Bear-ond seemed to heed Cat Bear’s opinion. “Anyone else?” he asked hopefully.
“Oh all right,” said Fox Gummy. “I’ll go. Foxes are good at sneaking things, it should be no problem to get the ring into Mordor.”
The others around the table nodded.
“But why are you so eager, all of a sudden?” asked Cat Bear. “You were telling me earlier that there was no way anyone could pay you enough to do the thing you just volunteered to do.”
The Fox Gummy ignored Cat Bear and picked a hangnail. Cat Bear’s eyes narrowed.
“Traitor! You sold out didn’t you?! When did Sauron’s minions get to you, and what did they promise? Let me guess, all the gummy chicken coops your heart could desire, right?”
Fox Gummy rolled his eyes but said nothing. Bear-ond cleared his throat. “Brethren, clearly we are not getting very far here. I’ve noted the presence of our courageous protagonist, and invite Frodo to share his ideas about getting the ring to Mordor.”
“Well I’ll tell you, I had one idea,” said Frodo, who had crept up behind the gummies and was watching the Council with interest.
“Yes?” asked Bear-ond, eagerly.
Frodo paused, and a smile came over his face.
“I’m going to eat you guys for energy and take the Ring myself!”
And before anyone knew what was happening, Frodo swept all the gummies, including Bear-ond, into his mouth, and consumed them all before continuing on his way.
- Bloom gelatin in water.
- Add lime juice and honey and heat gently on stove until all combined.
- Pour into gummy molds and set in refrigerator for at least an hour. Try not to eat all the gummies immediately.