Far out in the Western Seas lies the island of Doldruminicks, or Land of the SnickerDoodlers, as it’s known in English. On this land lives a very peculiar creature – the snickerdoodler, pictured here.
As you can see, snickerdoodlers are characterized by a rotund, bulbous body, a large round nose, and coarse, sand-paper-y skin. They are a fractious people, continually fighting, but not in a vicious or bad-hearted way. Their favorite activities include bouncy bum wrestling and bopping each other on the head with snickerdoodler juveniles. Snickerdoodler babies are often used in discus practice, and as doorstoppers. Snickerdoodlers are very resilient and can take all sorts of physical knocks, including:
being whacked on the noodle
getting drummed upside down
getting bounced on rocks and glass and other hard substances
being repeatedly poked.
What do they eat, you ask? Excellent question. From my studies of these strange individuals, I can tell you that they eat just about everything, with a particular affinity for steel, rubber, and other industrial substances. Sadly, these are in short supply on Doldruminicks. An attempt to start up a metal trade in exchange for fresh fruit came to a sad end when a delivery airplane was swarmed and gobbled up by hungry snickerdoodlers. They only stopped when they reached the pilot’s cotton undies (less fortunate were his polyester uniform and copper buttons), leaving him shivering on the landing strip. Poor fellow had to make a running jump for the next supply plane and convince the pilots to turn around before it was too late.
When they are not fighting over shore-washed scrap metal, the snickerdoodlers enjoy doodling. Their four short legs serve as doodle implements, and they doodle all over the island, scrawling incomprehensible scribbles across trees and the steep cliffs lining Doldruminicks’ shores.
The very best doodlers have their own studios, which are so covered with doodles that they appear solid black, and nothing new can be doodled on them. Snickerdoodlers possess the ability to see all of the individual doodles comprising a black canvas, so what to us looks like mere solid color appears to them artwork of the utmost complexity.
While they doodle, snickerdoodlers emit a low, undulating sound from their throats. When I first arrived on Doldruminicks, I thought this noise resembled most a human snicker, but now that I have had ample study time, I would recharacterize it as more of a blubbering. But it’s too late to rename these creatures blubberdoodles. (Besides, I hear such creatures already exist on the island of Blubberdubbin.)
I have enjoyed my time among the snickerdoodlers, at least after that first encounter when they ate my briefcase and fountain pen. Since then I have been careful to wear only organic materials, and have been left well enough alone, except for the occasional attempt to bop me on the head with a baby snickerdoodler.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Whisk dry ingredients (first 6) together. Add fat, vanilla, sweetener, and incorporate well.
- Prepare coconut sugar/cinnamon mixture, and lay out parchment on baking tray.
- Add ACV to dough and mix well.
- Take about 1 tb of dough and roll it into a ball with your hands. Roll/toss in cinnamon/sugar mixture, and place on tray. Flatten with the bottom of a glass or mug (to about ½ cm thickness). Repeat until all the dough is used up.
- Bake for 12 minutes or so, until slightly browned on top and bottom.
This post has been shared on Phoenix Helix’s Paleo-AIP Roundtable.