The girl was having fun playing with her food again. This time she was making banana pear fritters, letting the shapes run and dash in funny directions, forming all sorts of bumps and trundles and whorls. When she was done, she left the plate out on the kitchen table, sternly admonished Tom the cat not to touch it, and went to bed.
As the air filled with a dank humidity, the little pancakes begin to shiver and shimmer in the dusk light. Tom hissed at the plate, which clattered back at him. Startled, he ran out the cat door into the safety of the night. The fritters began to dance where they lay, jiggling and re-jiggering themselves into a new formation. First, a head, with two pointy ears.
Then a plump little body, toasty with caramelization. Two large jambs with round feet, and similarly-sized arms. The appendages lined themselves up on the tray and shook with increasing intensity, until suddenly, with a loud pop, they fused together.
Up jumped the Banana Pear Man. “Yippee!” he shouted, to no one in particular. “I’m alive!” He danced a jolly jig right on top of the other fritters, who grumbled to themselves and shot him jealous glances.
“Catch ya later, suckers!” Running off the plate, he began to skip and cartwheel across the table, launching himself in a flying leap towards the distant kitchen counter. “Geronimo!!” he yelled as he pirouetted his way around the pots and pans, pausing to peer into the greasy fry pan where he originated. “Tsk tsk. Dirty girl,” he said. He leaned over, dipped a paw into the leftover coconut oil, and rubbed it on his face. “Oh well. More shine for me.”
Taking a running jump off the dish rack, he flew onto the handle of the refrigerator, which swung open with Banana Pear Man hanging on for dear life. “What what!” he shouted as he hopped into the fridge and adorned himself with a hat of coconut cream and some raisin buttons. “There. That’s better. A respectable gentle-banana-pear-man like me cannot be seen without the proper attire.” Appropriately accoutred, he zoomed into the girl’s room where he performed a vigorous Russian squat dance on her pillow. But the girl was out cold, deep in the food coma of the over-indulger, and Banana Pear Man’s attempts to wake her were to no avail. (He did manage, however, to insert himself into her dreams, where she was chased by a horde of voracious pear fritters.)
Banana Pear Man sighed. “Useless. No fun.” He skipped over to the open window, and stared at the garden. “I wonder if there might be a spicy Banana Pear Woman out there for me to dance with. Only one way to find out!
He took a deep breath and leaped off the windowsill, on his way to find Banana Pear Woman.
[To Be Continued, Obviously]
- Mix all ingredients (except coconut oil) together well, in order listed.
- Put a tb oil in a pan over medium heat. When oil is warm, spoon out batter into individual fritters in pan (I used about a tb of batter each). By all means make your fritters into funny animal shapes.
- Cook until brown on each side, ~5 mins/side.
- Serve warm, with maple syrup, fruit, or just eat plain!
This recipe features in Phoenix Helix’s Paleo AIP Recipe Roundtable.