Snow White woke in a daze, peering through befuddled eyes at the seven friendly, eyebrow-dominated faces of the stout figures leaning over her bed.
“Woah!” She sat up with a jerk. The dwarves jumped back, Bashful emitting a loud peep of fright as Dopey’s hat fell onto the floor.
“Where am I?” she asked. She looked around at the tiny beds and miniature bedroom. “Oh that’s right. I fell asleep in this charming cottage.”
Doc beamed. “That’s right. This is our home.”
“It’s lovely,” said Snow White. “Do you think I might be able to stay awhile? The Queen is after me, and I need a place to hide. I’d be happy to contribute chores and my fair share to household upkeep in the meantime.”
“That would be fine,” said Doc. “We won’t ask you to do more than that, like keep house, cook, make beds, wash, sew, knit, and keep everything clean and orderly, because it’s the 21st century and that kind of demand would be pretty presumptuous – not to mention uncharitable and inhospitable to an individual fleeing persecution. We’ll settle for an equitable division of labor…once you’ve recovered from your journey, of course.”
“Great,” said Snow White, beaming. They shook hands, and feeling well-rested, she set off to explore the surroundings. Her cries of delight echoed throughout the forest upon discovery of a nearby apple orchard, as well as lemon trees and a hidden spice grove behind the cottage. Being an industrious individual, Snow White wasted no time in picking as much fruit as she could hold in her skirts. She waded back to the cottage and busied herself in the kitchen, looking for a pie plate and ingredients to make crust.
“Afraid you’ll not find what you’re looking for, sister,” said Sneezy, amidst kerchoos. “No flour in our kitchen.”
“Oh no?” said Snow White, looking up in concern.
“Nope,” chirped Happy, grinning and elbowing the dour dwarf next to him. “Grumpy here’s on a gluten-free diet, Doc’s orders. He got mad at us for making fun of him and threw all our wheat products down the well the other day.”
“Yeah,” said Sleepy, blinking drowsily. “And to make matters worse, Dopey’s Marie Kondo-ed the place and gotten rid of half our kitchen implements. So no more bakeware.”
“Oh I see,” said Snow White. A moment later her perturbed look disappeared. “Well, no worries! I know what I can make.”
The dwarves brightened up at this. A few hours later, they all ooh-ed and ah-ed to see the delicate rosebud and apple-shaped bonbons Snow White displayed on a silver tray.
“I can’t eat those,” grumbled Grumpy. “Doc says no sugar.”
“They’re sugar-free,” said Snow White. “And don’t worry Grumpy, they’ll help heal your gut too.” Grumpy’s expression turned temporarily hopeful and stayed un-Grumpy for the longest it ever had as he chewed one of the treats thoughtfully.
A moment later the doorbell rang. Snow White tripped to the door, tray in hand. An older lady was there, covered in a black cloak, from which only a bulbous nose covered in green warts was visible. In her outstretched hand lay a perfectly shiny red apple.
“Hello my dear,” she croaked, her tone dripping with malevolence. “Care for a delicious apple?”
Snow White looked from the glistening gummies she held to the perfect red specimen. Her gaze returned to her bonbons.
“Nope, thanks, I’m all set! Full up on apples and apple treats here!” Without another thought she closed the door in the witch’s flummoxed face, and spent the rest of the evening partying and two-stepping with the dwarves by a roaring fire.
- Bloom gelatin in ¼ c water.
- Grate or food process cored apple with ginger and ¼ c water.
- Add lime, cinnamon/mace, and coconut oil.
- Add to gelatin and heat up gently over stove until mixture is well-incorporated.
- Pour into molds and refrigerate until set.
This post has been shared on Phoenix Helix’s Paleo-AIP Roundtable.